I had a dream I got shot in Harlesden.
Local ends -- I got shot in Harlesden.
So called friends? I put nuttin past ’em
I was left for dead but I wasn’t just left dead, woke
Up on my death-bed. I got caught slippin’ like a
Brixton gangster in Peckham stylin’. My
Picture in the Metro, my bredrins wil’in. Recon-
Ciling myself with this wreck & smiling. Then I
Noticed 5 ghosts standing around me looking
Like most mandem in Ralphies. The
1st ghost turned to the second like "Fam
Why’s he looking like he doesn’t recognise man?"
That’s when I realised they looked angry as Hell, Heaven
Knows they probably wanted to shank me as well.
Quite scary and spooky? Try eerie and bookie, fam I
Felt like I slipped into a Nigerian movie.

The first ghost said to me "we were your gifts, we em-
Powered you so you didn’t need the four-fifths. It’s
Not about luck, we were supposed to be with you, &
Anything else you believed was all myths.
As you might have guessed I was the gift of the gab. For
Every single time you got a lift to the cab or got a
2 for 2 without paying £2...the
Gift of the gab shifted the slab weighing you down. You
Probably think you made good use of me init? Any
List of great talkers you should be in it? You’d be
Twanging right now if it wasn’t for your health, ’cause
When have you said anything that wasn’t for yourself?"

The second ghost was all like "you know the score like...
I was your ability to learn. You could copy what you
Saw and didn’t need a turn, anywhere mimicry was
Physically concerned. I
Gave you more tricks of the trade than Nicholas Cage at a ri-
Diculous age. At 15 you worked at the
Barbers under minimum wage and there was
None of that with which you didn’t engage ’cause you
Had more of me than usual. Stupid
Fool, what did you even use it for? You coulda
used it more -- true or false? Can you recall
Tryna pursue a cause that you would call ’true’ at all?"

Third ghost told me "I was your gift of understanding
Education-wise, you done the damn ting. Then you
Flipped it to the Gyalist In Wonderland ting &
Crowned yourself king ’cause of all of that attention you
Found yourself in... As a teen you
Understood more than youngers should but that
Wouldn’t excite you like getting numbers would
So you never used me with great persistence to
Break the systems and make a difference.

That’s when I got the strength to speak. I said "I’m
Twenty years old what was I meant to be?
Free World leader of the century? I couldn’t have
Been what you think I was potentially. I
Got into King’s College Cambridge University d’you
Know what I went through? I had to slew adversity so
Sorry if you ain’t what you’d prefer to be but I
Think you lot are deluded, personally."

Then there was an awkward silence.

Then the fourth ghost was like...the
Fourth just said "Look George go to bed. It’s a
Waste of time if you can’t see why we’re here.
If you’re in a rush to go, the green light is there" I said
"Wait, I ain’t heard from the fifth & you...furthermore
What gift were you?" He said "it’s
Pointless", all sighing, "’cause the
point is you’re dying.
We deserved the time that you never got to give us and
Now your life is over we never got to live up.
*You were more concerned who was rolling to the rave with
You. Now your gifts are going to the grave with you. You coulda
Made good use of me or number 5 most but
Now your 5 Seeds have now become the 5 ghosts.*

I watched them disappear, covered in piss and fear,
Wishing that I had my brothers & sisters there.
Picturing myself in Government then explaining to
God why I never beheld his covenant. I
Realised how much potential I had wasted. I
Realised death was the only guarantee &
Life had been honest; it honoured its promise, so the
Only right I had was the right to be mad at me. The
Way I felt sidelined was crazy, on a
Big man ting I just cried like a baby.
Sorry for the times that I never spoke up, I prayed for
One more chance. Then I woke up. Less